The White Liberation Army Seeks New Rebel Soldiers

It's now official. Disenfranchised white people have had enough. Of socialism, welfare, fascism, Nazis, communism, government health care and most significantly, that fucking uppity negro we're supposed to call the President of the United States. They have no choice now but to resort to extreme measures. And it involves guns. Lots of guns.

So now that Republicans no longer control the White House, the white racist fuckheads in opposition are arming up domestic militias to attempt violence, fear, mayhem and murder in hopes of overthrowing the U.S. government and taking our Anglo-Saxon Protestant country back. They want us to face the fact that America is not red, white and blue, it's just WHITE. Got it? Don't agree? Then Chad and his suburban freedom fighters will emerge from their bunker in Mom's basement and spray your brown ass with AK-47 ammo. Then (after they circle jerk and watch some UFC) they'll go blow some shit up. Yes, they strongly believe in being real patriots for this great land, enough to commit treason via domestic terrorism and cause injury or death to their own people. Oklahoma City in 1993 was just a warning shot, folks. Now they really mean business, so all us Marxist motherfuckers are toast.

This is how white people deal with defeat. They don't play by the same rules as those who are law-abiding and democratic. They take their Constitutional rights to the utmost extreme. They intimidate those who don't believe their rhetoric. Conspiracy theories galore are spread like the H1N1 virus all over the web. And when they realize that their approach draws people away rather than attract new followers, they open up a fresh case of grenades and load a new magazine in the Uzi. That Obama t-shirt you're wearing? It's now a target for these stupid white militia marksmen.



The White Liberation Army is recruiting everywhere: tea parties, gun shows, VFW halls, trailer parks, biker bars, white supremacist rallies, and especially those health care town halls, full of angry white people who are amped up and ready to go to war. Show up at a town hall and they'll keep yelling in your face, wave Obama Nazi signs, chant unintelligible phrases, bring handguns, phone in threats of violence to members of Congress, and bring out all the heavy artillery. Because to hell with health care reform, we have the better solution to give people a better life: DEATH!

It's amazing that no lessons have been learned from past domestic terrorism tragedies, and I thought that we supposedly supported the Second Amendment to protect and defend ourselves from outside harm. Now, enraged white people want to take gun laws a deadly step further and exploit the right to bear arms by using it as a threat against anyone who disagrees with their beliefs and opinions, including those who were elected through a democratic process. Truth, justice and the American Way!

White people have put their cards on the table and are ready to double-down with threats, barbs, bullets and blood. They don't care about innocent people getting hurt or killed and are just itching to go to extreme steps to try and undo the last election. They don't give a fuck about you and your worthless life, they just want to clear the path for the next Columbine or Waco. Tim McVeigh is the quintessential white folk hero, and the White Liberation Army can't wait for his next protege to take action. Their crusade won't stop until they transform America into either a Christianist nation or a smoldering pile of rubble.

How Frustrated White People Settle Their Differences

With violence. What else would you expect? White people have been able to establish power and a majority position in American society by using violence. Take this recent e-mail for example, sent to the SEIU over the recent health care town halls:

You socialist fucks have the nerve to say stop the violence at the town hall meetings when they weren't violent until you pussies showed up because your nigger leader obama said to?????? When we have ours in Racine, Wi, I want you there. I want one of your little bitches to put his hands on this Marine. I want one of you to look or talk to me wrong. I'll be the last thing your ignorant faux body guards will remember for a very long time. You can fucking guarantee that.

Yes, that's right. When white people see that they're losing their way and want to undo change, they resort to gun threats. All of these graduates of the Tim McVeigh Institute of Conflict Resolution seem to have several common threads: white, conservative, fundamentalist Christian, ex-military, gun owner. But they never operate alone, they form armies and militias so that they can go to war against their own people.



What is it with white people and their guns? They collect them, name them, write country songs about them, go to shows solely to showcase and buy them. When have they received a direct threat of confiscation (unless they've actually murdered someone)? When has a politician stated outright, "I will pass laws to take away your M-16's and AK-47's"? It's all a delusion in their heads. The truth, which only the e-mailer above will admit, is that white people own guns primarily for one reason: to threaten and kill those who oppose them. Seven million people have applied for background checks toward gun purchases since the November 2008 election. And the President gets 40 deaths threats a day.


White gun owners and Islamic terrorists have one thing in common: they will never stop until the socialists, communists, blacks, immigrants, Jews and all of those other non-Americans are bleeding to death. They live their lives with the delusion that America will be attacked from outside forces. WRONG! America will be attacked from within and it will most definitely be at the hands of one of our own.

There's my take on white people and their love for guns. If you don't like it, then fuck off. Shoot me. It's the only way you'll get me to shut up.