WMD: All In The Name Of God

Remember hearing the acronym "WMD" about six or seven years ago? It was a constant warning to the West that Saddam Hussein allegedly had "weapons of mass destruction" in Iraq, and that we had to invade Baghdad to stop him. As mentioned before, this is what white people do on every level possible: use lies and propaganda as a basis for going to war against perceived enemies. And sometimes, those enemies aren't necessarily outside of our borders.

Today, WMD stands for White Male Dominance, and it's the American Way, and all in the name of God. Everything with white evangelical Christians exists in the name of God, including bigotry, homophobia and anything having to do with semi-automatic weapons. Fundamentalist Christians and conservative evangelicals despise the gays so much, they feel the need to pass laws against them so that they can't be as unhappily married as heterosexuals. And remember, they are also "pro-life" even though they also support guns n' wars. They're the American Taliban who want town halls to be Ultimate Fighter cage matches.

Oh, you're not religious or believe in a faith other than Christianity? Well fuck you, you goddamn islamofascist. The WMD Brigade wants your kids to pray in public school and read textbooks that deny the existence of gays, dinosaurs, birth control and sexual intercourse. They want you to believe that the government's proper role is to "cultivate virtue." In other words, they want a Ten Commandments plaque in every state building, a verse from Deuteronomy plastered on every edifice and a giant cross behind every judge's bench. The Christian Right won't stop until you've been royally fistfucked with the Bible and kneel down to submit to their superior faith. Jesus would be ashamed of the present-day white American Christian, but fuck if they care.

Even though we passed civil rights legislation over forty years ago, the WMD syndrome still survived. Take Bob Jones University in Greenville, SC, for example. This private institution of White Protestant higher learning refused to enroll black students until 1971, admitted only married blacks from 1971 to 1975, and prohibited interracial dating and marriage between 1975 and 2000. Why? Because the Bible says that cross-breeding is a sin, that's why. That's why the Christian church supported laws that outlawed interracial marriage, because they felt it would be an "abomination of the races." Too bad that they couldn't keep those laws on the books, because dammit, we could have foiled that fucking Obama marriage when we had the chance!

Did you ever think that society would get to the point where the pure essence of God would be thrown in the mud and spit on? Or that people would use God and Christ as a means to advocate outright hatred? It happened a long time ago. Even Friedrich Nietzsche proclaimed that "God is dead" because the dominant white male killed him and flings him around like a sock puppet for his own personal use. These vile, lowlife heretics have no remorse, no shame for what they do, and would probably allow this planet to be considerably more inhabitable if they were loaded into the cargo bay of the Space Shuttle and dumped somewhere near the Asteroid Belt.

So remember that if you're black, gay, female, non-Republican or non-Christian, you're a useless, no-good lump of shit in God's eyes. And the WMD Brigade wants to march over your grave in order to prove its point. Forget the Melting Pot that your parents talked about when America's history was discussed. That's all been proven wrong. It's all about the white guy, our precious gift from God.

Angry White Males Unleashed!

Hey ladies, how do you like this personal ad?

SWM, 48, near Pittsburgh, 6'1", 195, fit and love to work out. Systems analyst and avid gun collector. Seeking nice, down to earth female to enjoy movies, dining and hunting trips to Allegheny County in my old Ford Bronco. I don't date too often, so I'm looking for someone to get me back in the game. Please reply soon, otherwise I'll have to show up at your next aerobics class with my 9mm and blow your fucking brains out.

Ooooh, so damn masculine and sexy that I'm quivering! Hook me up!

This would likely be the Craigslist ad from the late George Sodini, who busted into an aerobics class at an L.A. Fitness last week and opened fire with several handguns after turning off the lights. All because women rejected him for years and he couldn't deal with the loneliness. Oh boo hoo. You see, this is why the angry white male is so dangerous to civil society. The solution to every problem involves a firearm with live ammunition. It's how they settle disputes, like a fucking vigilante on lithium. They take out their emotions via cold-blooded murder/suicides. Because that's the only way that the pain will go away. And that's how I'll get back at those fucking bitches for not calling me back and deleting my e-mails.

In his lurid online diary, Sodini wrote that "girls and women don't give me a second look anywhere," and with good reason. Smart women know that the obnoxious dick-waggers chasing women at bars are nowhere near as dangerous as the unsuccessful loners who drift through life with a slow-brewing chasm of anger burning inside. Mad at the world for not allowing them the control they need. Mad at womanhood for repeatedly turning them down. Mad at the jobs they lost due to outsourcing or downsizing, to those fucking brown people who won't stay in their own goddamn country. Mad at non-white males for taking away all the hot women who prefer darker skin.

Want this white-hot piece of ass? Sorry, she only dates mediocre NFL players or rappers, and you ain't either one of those.

The violent murder spree is the final option for angry white males who see the reins of power slip away and don't know what to do about it, except yell really loud in public, rant in ALL CAPS on websites and stock up on extra hollow-points at Wal-Mart. In their twisted world, we're no longer supposed to resolve our differences peacefully. We're not supposed to treat people as equals and respect one another. We allegedly have the best democracy in the world, but with all the angry while males on the loose, we're one burning tire away from Somalia. They Angry White Male brigade wants the U.S. to become a banana republic so that they can let loose on the streets with their guns blazing, just to blow off all that pent-up testosterone and level the playing field.

The human race will reach total extinction at the hands of this very deadly sub-human species. Bet on it.