Angry White Males Unleashed!

Hey ladies, how do you like this personal ad?

SWM, 48, near Pittsburgh, 6'1", 195, fit and love to work out. Systems analyst and avid gun collector. Seeking nice, down to earth female to enjoy movies, dining and hunting trips to Allegheny County in my old Ford Bronco. I don't date too often, so I'm looking for someone to get me back in the game. Please reply soon, otherwise I'll have to show up at your next aerobics class with my 9mm and blow your fucking brains out.

Ooooh, so damn masculine and sexy that I'm quivering! Hook me up!

This would likely be the Craigslist ad from the late George Sodini, who busted into an aerobics class at an L.A. Fitness last week and opened fire with several handguns after turning off the lights. All because women rejected him for years and he couldn't deal with the loneliness. Oh boo hoo. You see, this is why the angry white male is so dangerous to civil society. The solution to every problem involves a firearm with live ammunition. It's how they settle disputes, like a fucking vigilante on lithium. They take out their emotions via cold-blooded murder/suicides. Because that's the only way that the pain will go away. And that's how I'll get back at those fucking bitches for not calling me back and deleting my e-mails.

In his lurid online diary, Sodini wrote that "girls and women don't give me a second look anywhere," and with good reason. Smart women know that the obnoxious dick-waggers chasing women at bars are nowhere near as dangerous as the unsuccessful loners who drift through life with a slow-brewing chasm of anger burning inside. Mad at the world for not allowing them the control they need. Mad at womanhood for repeatedly turning them down. Mad at the jobs they lost due to outsourcing or downsizing, to those fucking brown people who won't stay in their own goddamn country. Mad at non-white males for taking away all the hot women who prefer darker skin.

Want this white-hot piece of ass? Sorry, she only dates mediocre NFL players or rappers, and you ain't either one of those.

The violent murder spree is the final option for angry white males who see the reins of power slip away and don't know what to do about it, except yell really loud in public, rant in ALL CAPS on websites and stock up on extra hollow-points at Wal-Mart. In their twisted world, we're no longer supposed to resolve our differences peacefully. We're not supposed to treat people as equals and respect one another. We allegedly have the best democracy in the world, but with all the angry while males on the loose, we're one burning tire away from Somalia. They Angry White Male brigade wants the U.S. to become a banana republic so that they can let loose on the streets with their guns blazing, just to blow off all that pent-up testosterone and level the playing field.

The human race will reach total extinction at the hands of this very deadly sub-human species. Bet on it.